Sunday 28 September 2014

Oh, so that's what you sound like!

To quote Mr JS Bach, ‘Es ist vollbracht, and oh how satisfying it is’ (I’m not sure he said the second bit….).

To what am I referring I hear you scream. Well, this afternoon (Saturday), as my chicken nuggets started to turn black in the oven, I had the most satisfying session making the bed I have ever had. Having gone to boarding school at the age of 7, I have been making my own bed pretty regularly for 21 years. In fact as choirboys in the boarding school we used to race each other to see who could change their bed the fastest. Oh, the fun we had. Yet not even beating my biggest bed-changing-race rival as a 9 year old was as satisfying as making my bed just now.

Those of you who have read the previous two posts will know that the issue of my bed has been hanging over me. My failure to realise that I needed to order ‘Lattenrost’ , or slats, had left me with an empty frame in the corner of my room, snarling at me each time I came home. Like an art installation meant to ridicule me it has threatened to destabilise my settling in process. I am delighted to announce that the slats have now arrived and as I sit here writing the ridiculing has stopped and the soft sheets now almost flirt with me, begging me to stop what  I am doing and make the most of our time together….. OK. Enough. I have a bed. Happy days!


Great people

Much else has happened this week both inside and outside the opera house. I continue to meet friendly, supportive colleagues who inspire me in both their professional and personal lives.

Sunday was a very good example of this. I had arranged to spend some of the day with Henry Waddington, a British bass over here as a guest artist currently rehearsing ‘Jakob Lenz’. I was in the chorus at Garsington Opera in 2009 when Henry sang Don Magnifico in Cenerentola. He had also arranged to meet up with another artist working here and so the three of us ended up visiting the beautiful town of Esslingen. It really is a very picturesque town which, Wikipedia tells me, was almost untouched in the 20th century conflicts. Having spoken to a couple of locals in Esslingen, the three of us headed through the old town centre and up many stairs to a little restaurant on the hill. Here I introduced Henry to ‘maultaschen’ – which are Schwabian ravioli, and we talked about singing, as singers do. The third member of our party was Swedish Mezzo Katerina Karneus, who it turns out won Cardiff Singer of the World in 1995 and has had an intriguing career path since then including at one stage living in South Africa and at many stages having to alter the pattern of her work due to her personal circumstances. She is in Stuttgart to perform in Tristan und Isolde.

However informative and educational Music Colleges are, I think everyone should have to attend a meal with two or three current working singers. With me acting almost like a young journalist, adding the occasional question, Henry and Katerina discussed their careers, their work/life balance, their singing teachers, opera companies, artist managers and so on. Don’t get me wrong, I did talk myself too, and it wasn’t exactly an ‘audience with Henry and Katerina’ but I am very grateful for the time they did spend talking about aspects of being an Opera singer.

As part of my contract this year I am understudying/covering a few roles. This means that if the singer of that role is unwell then I end up singing it instead. The first of these roles is the short unaccompanied ‘Young Sailor’ in Tristan und Isolde. So on Monday evening I attended the run of act 1 of Tristan, listening to my role being sung by German/Argentinian Tenor Daniel Kluge, a member of the ensemble. I also then got the chance to listen to some wonderful singing from Katerina herself. As she had said over lunch the day before, the routes of her technique come from the Bel Canto school, and in fact the way she spoke about singing was very similar to Henry and my teacher, Gary Coward. It was great to hear such a beautifully produced, unforced sound soaring out of the thick Wagnerian texture.

Hearing Katerina reminded me to be true to my own voice, no matter what the repertoire is. Trying to ensure that the basic production of sound, technique etc. is consistent throughout everything one sings. This thought was confirmed further on Tuesday and Wednesday when I and the rest of the Opera Studio had a Masterclass with a lady called Jane Thorner.


English Tenor? – Tenor who is English?  – British Tenor?

Jane Thorner was not someone I knew of before the Masterclass this week. She is based in Switzerland and teaches singing there with her husband. I had heard from Bettina Giese, the head of the Opera Studio, that the sessions would be energetic and wonderful and that she always does good work. This was all good to hear of course, but following the issues I had in 2013 (read my first blog post) and the work and time I put into getting things on track, I am very stubborn about how I sing. I am very proud of the work I have done with my teacher and, knowing how much of a mental challenge singing can be, I really don’t want people to waltz in and knock me off course.

In addition to the worries I had about the teaching in the Masterclass I was also aware that this was the first time my colleagues would hear me. So much talking had happened before then, so many opinions expressed about other singers… ‘have you heard them’…. ‘he is amazing’ etc. Yet now that all stopped and this was it.

I very much doubt I am the only person in the world to have self-doubt in such situations. As I have said to my wife in the past, the running commentary of worries and negativity in my head is exceptionally dull and monotonous. This is something that I have needed to sort out , and there are people one can go and see who help performers of all sorts work through mental challenges.  One aspect of these thoughts are the sense of being unworthy, a fraud who will one day be found out and face an announcement in the theatre….

‘please will Herr Elwin collect his things from the dressing room and allow real professionals to do their job.’

 This fear of not being good enough is counter balanced by a drive to succeed, achieve and, if I am being totally honest, to impress people. To impress colleagues, and friends and audiences. To impress everyone.

Part of the potentially fraudulent aspect of my fledgling career is my voice. The instrument that is me, shaped by the size of my head, chest, vocal chords, strength of my supporting muscles and so on. In my case, being English and a Tenor has always had certain connotations. Having come from a background as a choral singer, both as a boy soprano and as a Tenor, I am so aware of that term – the English Tenor. The voice that can do contemporary music, sings Bach and Handel well, performs song with intelligence and doesn’t allow the voice to get in the way. All horrible generalisations of course. With my background this is where I should be placed, somewhere between the Bostridges and John Mark Ainsley’s of this world. Yet that is not my voice. Far from it. My voice is at home in Bel Canto music, Donizetti and Bellini, young Verdi and most of the Mozarts. Yet how do I fit in amongst the great Italian tenors of the past or the bus load of young South American singers who dominate the young lyric tenor scene? Where does this posh sounding east London lad fit into that?

The answer is of course that there is no reason for me not to fit in and if anything it will be this sense of self-doubt that would prevent it.

This is the biggest lesson that I got from the Masterclass with Jane Thorner because, despite the self-doubt and quizzical looks from Bettina, I chose repertoire that I know is me. I sang Edgardo’s aria from Donizetti’s Lucia Di Lammermoor, the Italian singers aria from Rosenkavalier by Strauss, ‘Questa O Quella’ from Rigoletto and a beautiful Bellini song called ‘La Ricordanza’, as well as Tamino’s opening aria from Die Zauberflote. All worked on in details over the 3 hours of sessions I was allocated. And it was a success. A real success. The work we did was great, it opened me up a bit, gave me the confidence to just sing and perform. In particular the Rosenkavalier aria, which isn’t known for being easy and I have worried about for a while. The simple work we did to help alleviate fear suddenly turned the high B into an almost enjoyable note.

Without prompting her, Jane told me to change my attitude. To be confident as a Tenor who is English and happens to sing the music that I do. Also, not to feel like I should justify it because that is just the way the cards have been dealt.    Self-explanatory stuff really but sometimes one needs reminding.  


South American Tenor

Talking of the ‘bus load of South American Tenors’ brings me back to last Sunday, and the ‘spielzeiteröffung’ or season opening. This was a 90 minute talk with musical extracts which introduces the season to the Stuttgart public. Coming towards the end of my 2nd week in Stuttgart I thought I would be ok with sitting through a 90 minute talk in German. Apparently, though, one can only concentrate for so long and this particular 90 minute German listening exam was a step too far.
Brain frazzled, I was delighted for each musical interlude. These included a section from Mussorgsky’s Khovanschina, which I am in later in the season, a long section from ‘Jakob Lenz’ which did nothing to ease my brain, an aria from Cosi performed by Ronan Collett and finally ‘La Donna E Mobile’ performed by Stuttgart’s own resident South American tenor, Atalla Ayan.
I had heard a lot about Atalla Ayan, the Brazilian Tenor, not yet into his 30’s and already having debuted at Covent Garden, with the MET and at numerous houses in Germany singing all the repertoire that I hope to make my own. Sure enough his Duke aria was great, a few things I might have done differently if I am honest, but the thing that really stood out was that he just performed it, with confidence and flair. Like a songbird wishing to be heard by everyone around, the resulting audience reaction was no surprise.

His career is one to be inspired but not intimidated by. Maybe someone will talk about me in the same way one day….. maybe.


Curry time

At the end of the week I decided to bring a little of my own family tradition to Stuttgart and cooked curry for my Opera studio colleagues.

Having been born in India whilst his father was a Doctor out there, my own father has always felt a strong affinity with India and ever since I was very young we have had home cooked curries. In recent years, as my two sisters and I have spread ourselves far and wide across the globe, the family curry has marked special occasions. We had a family curry the weekend before my little sister left for Japan (she blogs too at paperplane89.wordpress.com ), one the night before I got married and one before I came out here.  I often cook curry for my wife at home and it is a family tradition that will no doubt continue.

Therefore, as a way for us to wind down at the end of the intense week, I invited the rest of the Opera studio as well as Ashley Prewett who was on the studio last year and Bettina, the head of the studio, to mine for a Friday night curry.

The process of cooking the curry wasn’t as easy as it would be in London of course. High street north, near to where my parents live, is a little India in east London. If you can’t find the right ingredients for your curry down high street north then you aren’t cooking Indian food. Stuttgart has no high street north. There are many Turkish people in the area, more kebap shops than anywhere else I have been to, and the accompanying Turkish supermarkets. In terms of Indian cuisine though, Stuttgart is lacking.

I did manage to stumble upon some mango chutney, mint sauce and sharwoods curry powder in one of the more expensive supermarkets here. I also substituted home made naan bread for very similar Turkish bread from a local backerei, a steal at 35 cents a pop. My colleagues brought with them bier, wine, cake and ice cream and we had a lovely evening.

I was delighted that one of my flat mates, Rui from China, joined us too and he was extremely grateful to have met my friends. He mentioned to me that he felt very lucky to know me as I was so good at making friends. Whether this is true or not, I did sit back and appreciate how lucky I am to be part of such a friendly Opera house. Three weeks in and I continue to make new friendships and build on the ones I have already made. From dinner with Henry and Katerina, to the curry, to this evenings drinks I will be having with two other colleagues (more about that next week).  Its all good.


Missing home

Having said all of that, I still miss home, despite having been at boarding school for so long and being so used to being away from home. My wife is not here with me, I cannot sleep in my own bed, I can’t drive my car or buy all the Indian food I could ever want, or marmite.

In a couple of weeks I will be missing my nieces 2nd birthday party, probably a family curry, and will no doubt miss many more events. All in the name of being an almost fully fledged opera singer. Madness really.

One event I am sad to be missing is the memorial service for my former Headmaster, Chris Tongue, who sadly passed away this week. Mr Tongue was an extremely supportive Headmaster during my time at St. John’s School, Leatherhead, where I took my GCSE’s and A Levels. He would attend every match, be it 1st XV or Under 14 C team, every play, concert, debate etc. with the same enthusiasm and charm. He emailed me recently to congratulate me on my career developments and I am only too sad to not have been able to see him before he passed away.

Mr Tongue was one of those people that we musicians need in life. An encouraging, supportive force who helps enable us to make the decision to continue in this mad career. I have so many memories of him taking time to talk to me and encourage me, making me feel recognised and appreciated. A wonderfully human skill to have. He will be sorely missed. Rest In Peace Mr Tongue!


My first show

Next Sunday, the 5th of October, I have my first performance here. So far I have only had one rehearsal for it as it is a revival. This involved sitting and watching the DVD of the 1980 production and trying the copy it, a difficult skill to master. I will tell you more about the rehearsals and build up to my debut in the next blog, including a possible sighting of me in Lederhosen.
Before then, I hope you have a lovely week,


Tom 

Friday 19 September 2014

Work starts here.

Before I tell you all about my second week living in Stuttgart may I thank you who read my first post. There has been a wave of good feeling towards what I wrote and I have been quite overwhelmed by it, so THANK YOU.

At this precise moment I have just finished a call with IKEA (after waiting 45 mins on IKEA Delivery help line). A few new things turned up yesterday, a big mirror, some drawers and a new bed + mattress and bedding …… minus the wooden slats which prevent the mattress falling to the floor.  It turns out that in Germany these slats are bought separately. Oops

A kingdom for a comfy bed

This Ikea episode is a good place to start. When I arrived in Stuttgart I got to my WG (Flat share) and was underwhelmed by the room I had agreed to rent. It is a large room, there is a kitchen in the flat, a roof terrace etc. It’s all fine, a bit tired and dirty, but ok. My room had a cupboard, some chairs, a bookcase and a small bed. If I was coming here to University I would have been delighted probably, but I am not. I am coming here to work and live in what will be an intense 11 months. I have moved from a cosy flat with my wife, a home we have made together, to a foreign country where I only speak a small amount of the language. It is very important for me to make as homely a place as possible.

To create this nice space I ordered the items from IKEA, somehow working my way through the German website, being slightly confused that they didn’t want payment online, and organising a delivery slot for yesterday (Thursday) from 2 to 9. More on the delivery time later….
IKEA wasn’t the first place I looked. Initially I tried the shops in Stuttgart. If you know Stuttgart at all you will know that there are lots of shops. From the HauptBahnhof (Main station) leading south for what seems like miles (or kilometers as we Europeans say), Konigstrasse is the retail heart of the city. So I walked down Konigstrasse and happened upon Galeria Kaufhof, which has a similar feel to House of Fraser. Downstairs I went, to the home department, beds and all. I started looking amongst the duvets and sheets and decided, since I am keen to improve my German, to ask the shop assistant for a hand. And oh how helpful she was. ‘Here is a Duvet, some pillows, some sheets, Oh you want one of these too, and this.’ (all in German) My initial enthusiasm to speak German rapidly receded and I found the Englishman in me nodding along, politely. In a flash this helpful old lady had taken almost 500 EURO of bedding to the till for me and sent me on my way. What a good salesperson, I had come in to have a look, maybe buy one or two things, but she had managed to get 500 EURO of goods to the till for this stupid Englishman to buy. What she didn’t know was that, whilst nodding along politely, and rather than just telling her I didn’t want to buy all of this, I was looking for the best route to make a quick getaway. As soon as the moment arrived, as she turned her back content that I was waiting in line for my goods, I made my exit. Phone out of pocket, lifted to my ear, time for that fake phone call usually reserved for chuggers (charity muggers). Then that searching look of ‘where is my friend…. Oh they must be outside the shop’, a jog up the escalator and out I went. Success! I didn’t buy all those things I didn’t want, I was out of the woods…….. but I had no bedding and I will now spend 11 months in Stuttgart never being able to visit the home section of Galeria Karlhof.

Hence my order from IKEA.

1300 everyday

I finally started work at Oper Stuttgart on Monday. A day I had been waiting excitedly for for months. I definitely had those first day nerves, like starting a new school. As ever, I turned up for my first call early, I am used to waiting the 15 minutes extra I have allowed. This habit has allowed me to wander the streets of many a Choral Society town. Unfortunately for me on this occasion, though, the lady I was meeting for my 10 O’clock call forgot I was waiting. 1015 went, as did 1030, and 1045. Yet again, the polite Englishman in me struck gold and I didn’t knock on her door despite knowing full well that she was in there having a chat with colleagues she hadn’t seen all summer. Finally at 1050 she came out of her room and looked at me with horror… ‘ Oh, Thomas… I forgot, I am so sorry’.  Months of waiting for my first day and the first meeting ends up being postponed.  Typical.
Later on that day, and having met each other briefly, the Opera Studio members and I had our photos taken both individually and as a group. It’s a really lovely bunch of singers this year, from all across Europe. I am by far the worst German speaker which, in previous years when the language used for the studio was primarily English, would have been ok yet this year everyone apart from me speaks German fluently and we are in Germany. Extra incentive for me to improve my German.
At 1300 on Monday I received my Tagesplan (daily schedule) by email. Yes, for those of you reading from England who complain about getting a weekly schedule late on a Friday night for the following week, here I only find my daily schedule at 1 o’clock the day before.  Little time to plan anything around work and little time to plan an IKEA delivery a week in advance!!  Thankfully, in my postponed meeting, I was told all about the KBB. The administrative heart of the Staatstheater. With the theatre complex employing almost 1500 people and there being at least 5/6 shows rehearsed at any one time, the KBB are vitally important. Luckily for me the 2 to 9 time slot IKEA had given me was accommodated for by the KBB so I didn’t have to worry.

My Tagesplan for Tuesday was quite sparse. A ten o’clock welcome from Jossi, the big boss man, and a coaching at 7. The meeting was interesting. All the new people were introduced and welcomed, each person standing up to wave to a almost full theatre. I stood, as briefly and awkwardly as possible. Jossi spoke about an award they had won last year, how excited he was about the new season and how great a theatre and ensemble we have in Stuttgart. I think that is what he said, it was all in German. I then went to the Kantine (canteen) with an Opera Studio colleague. This was a great decision. As night follows day, as singers like to sit around having a chat in the canteen. Within ten minutes I had been greeted by a selection of exceptionally welcoming singers including Catriona Smith, a lovely Scottish Soprano with a beautiful soft accent and the ‘Mother’ of the Ensemble who happens to have Six Nations viewing parties at her house (result!), Ashley Prewett, a Texan baritone who has just finished on the Studio and is now on a proper contract with the ensemble, and Ronan Collett, an English baritone who I had been in touch with via social media prior to my moving over.
Ronan is someone I have known of for about 8 years. In 2006/7 I attended a recital at the Wigmore hall with Angelika Kirchshlager and three young artists (Lucy Crowe, Allan Clayton and Ronan, not a bad bunch!). At that point I didn’t want to be a soloist, I wanted to sing in choirs, but I remember thinking that all three young singers were amazing. Ronan was a member of the Opera Studio here in Stuttgart a few years ago and has been on contract in the Ensemble since then. A fellow Royal Academy of Music Alumnus (Alumna!?Alumni…?) and having since had a few lessons with Gary Coward, we have quite a few mutual friends/coaches and it was Audrey Hyland who suggested I got in touch with him about Stuttgart. Ronan’s advice was good and honest, telling me more about being in a studio than anyone in England seemed able to. He was very positive about the set up and about moving to Germany as a young singer and his words strengthened my believe that it was the right thing for me to do.

Find your own way

When I say it is the right thing for me to do I mean it like that. This move to Germany feels like the right next step for me in my quest, and it is a quest, for a career. This won’t be the case for everyone of course. Be it the Jette Parker at ROH or the Harewood scheme at ENO, there are schemes in which a young UK based singer can have relatively secure employment and feel nurtured. There are numerous Young artist schemes attached to the summer opera companies, like at Glyndebourne, Garsington, Holland Park. So there ARE the opportunities in the UK if you can get them. But, as with anywhere in Opera, there is significant competition.

For the ROH Jette Parker auditions they receive hundreds of applications and only hear 70 (only!!) at live round 1. They take 5 each year. Here in Stuttgart they heard 100 + sopranos this year. In the end none of them got a place as two girls from last years Studio have stayed on. Of the Tenors who got past the screening stage, they heard 30+ for my place.

Not only is there a lot of competition, but you also can’t be sure what people want. All those sopranos who sang to Stuttgart would have been good, but in the end there wasn’t a space. That doesn’t make those who auditioned bad singers. Of the tenors who auditioned on my day, I was only too aware that they all sounded amazing. One guy kept on singing High C’s as if he had borrowed Juan Diego Florez’s voice for the day, one guy was singing romantic repertoire that I dream to sing in 5/10 years. The point is that I was lucky to get through the door, my face fitted and that’s great for me and a great shame for the others. In finding your own way you have to deal with the knocks sideways, the closed doors and the lack of obvious opportunities. There IS more work in Germany for Opera singers, but there are more singers, there is more competition and it is not necessarily the land of golden opportunity that a young singer might hope it is.

Anyway, back to Tuesday. I met a lovely bunch of singers, walked home, had some lunch, laid down on my not so nice bed aware that I needed to be up and getting ready in a few hours for my 7pm coaching. I awoke from a nap at around 430, looked at the schedule to see where my coaching was and….. oh….. my coaching is at 1700 not 7. Schoolboy error. Misreading the 24 hour clock. So I rushed to the opera house, which only takes me 8 minutes if I use the U-Bahn, warmed up, photocopied some music and then had one of nicest coachings I have ever had with a lovely american man called Stephen Hess who has been in Stuttgart since the late 1970’s. We are lucky that, despite retiring, Stephen took a contract extension with Stuttgart just to work with the Opera studio.
Since then I have had a few coachings, some language coachings, some good Kantine chatting time and generally I feel well settled and extremely lucky.

Friends and family

Away from the Opera I am finding not being with my wife a challenge. We talk a lot and that is great but it is not a substitute for actually seeing each other. We have discussed Germany and if I were to get a longer contract somewhere we might end up living here together which would be great.

I was extremely grateful to Collegium Vocale Ghent for having a concert here on Sunday in which my best mate (and best man) Thomas Hobbs and another old friend Samuel Boden were performing as Tenor soloists. It was wonderful to see them, have a beer, relax a bit, have some English banter and humour.

This weekend I go to IKEA to get the final parts of my bed and attend VFB Stuttgart vs Hoffenheim, because its cheap and I love football.

The week has been a relaxed introduction into working in Germany, rumour has it the next week won’t be so relaxing.

Until then! Tschuss!


Ps: Super happy the Scots are still part of the Union. Good work. 

Friday 12 September 2014

Wilkommen nach Stuttgart - Hi I'm Tom

Good afternoon world. I'm Tom. Thomas Elwin to some, Tom Elwin to others, Cockett to a minority. I am a 28 year old British Tenor, currently residing in the pleasant East/Central area of Stuttgart in a WG (German flat share). This season (14-15) I am the tenor in the Opera Studio at Oper Stuttgart. As I have explained to many of my friends in the lead up to moving here, this opportunity is a fantastic one and will hopefully act as a finishing school and springboard to a career in this crazy Operatic world. This blog, which I aim to make weekly, will record and discuss my year in the Opera Studio.
This first post will tell you a bit about my past, my 'journey' to this point and the first 5 days settling into this new country.

2013 - annus horribilis 

My journey to Stuttgart starts in January 2013. Following an invitation from a German agent who had heard me perform at the Royal Academy of Music, London. I auditioned to Hannover Opera, in Hannover. The audition was pretty poor really but they offered me a place in their Studio/YAP. I thought about it carefully, very carefully. Discussed it with my wife and family, my teacher and coaches. The idea of going to an Opera studio abroad hadn't really crossed my mind before that point. I may have thought about it before but never considered it seriously. So I decided to put my hat in for other studios too. I ended up getting an audition in Munich, which I was much more enthusiastic about. Being an honest chap I told Hannover the situation and said could I let them know. They then told me to give them an answer on the day before my Munich audition. Great. What to do. Well, I rejected Hannover, sang ok to Munich, didn't get a place there, spent 24 hours with food poisoning in Munich and flew home lighter, poorer and without a place in Germany anyway. So the next step in the plan was to get a place at NOS, the National Opera Studio, London. Auditions split, Feb 1st round, April Final round. I still had a few months left at the RAM before I joined the Chorus at Glyndebourne for the summer. I wasn't particularly happy at the RAM at this point. 3 1/2 years in and I felt claustrophobic, shackled by some of the structures in place. This was made worse by having to sing a role I didn't want to do in the spring production. All in all I wasn't happy.

April comes, I've been unhappy for a few months at RAM. I'm still upset by the Germany episode. I'm now worried by the prospect of having nothing to go into following Glyndebourne and my wife is now looking for a new post having quit her job of 4 years. If you remember April 2013 at all you'll remember it was cold, there was snow and ice and wind. Not ideal healthy singer weather. I take part in the Ferrier competition, so keen to do well that I talk myself out of singing well. Then I sing to the final round panel at the National Opera Studio. Infamously large, the panel on this occasion consisted of 6 Opera company representatives and their assistants, 4 staff from NOS and 3 others. So just the 19 people. I was nervous, I put a huge amount of pressure on myself to succeed and...... surprise surprise I didn't. I chose bad rep and I froze. 5 days later, having a bit of a cold, I did a concert in a old peoples home. I felt my voice slowly cease up. I couldn't sing high without feeling strangled, none of my low notes were working and I was a mess. I was meant to sing Messiah the next day, 7th April 2013, yet when I woke up I couldn't sing more than a 5th. Now hindsight is indeed a wonderful thing and now I can see the events that lead up to me losing my voice. At the time though, I thought it was a virus that it would pass. I had to pull out of a couple of concerts but I would be well for the start of Glyndebourne rehearsals at the end of April.      I wasn't. Far from it. I couldn't make a noise at all. I sat through 50 + hours of French baroque music rehearsals just listening. I performed on stage in Figaro and the French baroque basically miming, hired to sing but not being able to so just being a bad dancer.   The staff at Glyndebourne were great, the administrative staff were understanding and organised a visit to an ENT specialist in Brighton. I went to see another ENT too. Nothing helped. My chords were fine, my throat was fine. In truth my muscles and body were stopping me sing.

Eventually I decided to see an Osteopath who had rescued my neck following a car crash a few years back, a Speech Therapist who was recommended by a family friend, and start working properly with a new teacher, Gary Coward, who I had had a consultation with before my voice went.

The Osteopath, an amazing man called Michael Mehtha at Hermes Health spent hours helping release my significant tensions. With the speech therapist, Maggie Griffith in Stevenage, I re-learned how to speak, how to breath, how to support my voice properly and how to look after it.

With Gary we went back to basics. Similar to the speech therapy work, but also vocal exercises to free me up, enable me to phonate freely and naturally. I had stayed away from seeing him for more lessons until I got my voice back, ideally, but decided that he might be able to help and went to see him mid-July and he was great.

Eventually, by mid August, yes - 4 months later - I had some voice back and could sing on stage for the last few shows of the season. I had spent a lot of money trying to get it back, into the thousands of pounds probably all in all. But it was back. It needed a lot of work though.

2013 - bleak outlook

A consequence of losing my voice was having to cancel auditions. I cancelled lots of them. Any potential work for post Glyndebourne disappeared. Glyndebourne were never going to take me on tour following the summer I'd had and no one else would give me work having not heard me.
In the meantime my wife got a job, in Hertfordshire. We moved to the area. My diary was blank. The money I had earned from the summer had gone on ENT, Osteo, Voice Release Massage etc. I can't remember being in such a low place. Initially I didn't consider quitting singing, I gave myself time to have lessons with Gary, really get back on track and hope that work would come my way maybe try and succeed in competitions. I did the Hampshire competition, just 1 month after getting my voice back. I got to the semi - final. A little personal victory.   I decided to apply to Opera studios again. Hamburg, Munich, Berlin, Stuttgart, Covent Garden and NOS once more. I got a few concerts and sang at weddings and funerals in choirs (a world I had tried to move away from).
Then rejections came once more. Not even a 1st round audition at Covent Garden, no audition in Berlin and no 2nd chance in Munich. I sang to Hamburg in December, it went ok. I wasn't who they were looking for. Then I got given an audition by Stuttgart! Exciting times.

2014 - All change

Away from the singing, my wife was loving her new job, we liked the area, but I had little or no money coming into an already bleak financial situation. I got a job at a local restaurant and worked shifts there but by January I was skint. I faced a cross roads. Could I continue struggling to make ends meet in order to continue training vocally for a potential future career, or did I need to get a job, a proper job. Jack it in and change direction.

I applied for lots of jobs, I had interviews for recruitment consultancy and for a full time restaurant post in Leon (fast food chain I love). I was happy to do anything that paid me. In the back of my mind though was an audition in Stuttgart, 21st January 2014. I was extremely lucky to get help from a previous sponsor to pay for me to continue with Gary, so I saw him a lot. We really went about trying to give me the best technique possible and fulfilling any potential I might have. I also had sessions with two of my other great teachers,vocal coach extraordinaire Audrey Hyland and Director and acting guru John Ramster,  and I went to Stuttgart confident I couldn't have done anymore to this point.

To my surprise I got through the 1st round, up against 20 other tenors, whittled down to 4 on the day. I sang Mozart and I sang it nicely. It had only been 4 1/2 months since I got my voice back, but I felt good.

I got home and heard nothing, I managed to get some individual music teaching work in my local area, teaching mostly young children Piano and Singing. I continued at the Restaurant, including singing to the punters on the odd occasion and I felt happier in life. This had been the first time my wife and I had lived together properly in the 9 years we had been together as a couple and I love being with her (which is good) and living with her.

The weekend after my audition, Bettina Giese, in charge of the Opera Studio in Stuttgart, called me. ''We liked you a lot, this is what we thought, go talk to your teachers about it, we'll let you know......''
WOW! This was super-positive, exciting stuff. I arranged lessons and coaching sessions to discuss what they said and tried not to tell the world that Stuttgart might be interested in me (I failed, I basically told everyone). And I waited, and waited, and waited. I heard of other tenors going over to audition, I checked my emails every 3 mins. I tried to think of reasons to have to email Stuttgart about things. It felt like a life time.

In the meantime, one of the coaches I went to see, Jonathan Papp offered me a place on his Solti Accademia Bel Canto course in Tuscany in July, a course I had always wanted to do, and as a singer on the reps course in Venice in April. I also did my first day of auditions for the National Opera Studio. This was very positive, they liked me again and invited me to the final round of doom once more.

The life time of waiting went on and on. Eventually Stuttgart asked me to return to sing to them once more, at the end of March. So off I went, armed with similar repertoire. Now 7 months since I got my voice back, I was on an upward curve. I sang with confidence. They obviously liked me enough to want to hear me again, and a few days after I got back Bettina rang to offer me the place.

Phew!! What a contrast 7 months can have.


2014 - Exciting things to come

With a place in Stuttgart in the bag I contacted NOS (National Opera Studio). They agreed that I shouldn't do my final round audition and wished me luck. I now had 5 months to continue work with Gary, enjoy life with Mrs Elwin, go on some courses and FIND SOME MONEY.

Yes, find some money. As any musician will tell you, particularly Opera singers, funding is always needed. The Opera studio doesn't pay massive wages and life in England doesn't stop because I have moved away. Funding was needed. So I put together a funding pack, wrote to 100 people from various supporters lists. I did some recitals and invited people and eventually raised quite a bit of money to ease my lot.

Solti courses were amazing btw. I would recommend them to any and everyone......


The move and first week

Having set the date to move at 8th of September I was grateful to two of my friends who got married on the 6th and 7th so I was able to see friends before I left.
I finally moved to Stuttgart on 8th September 2014. With a bit of support in place I didn't have to worry about being able to afford the flight with so much luggage. I brought my father with me and we visited the Mercedes Museum, explored the centre of stuttgart and had a few bier. A very nice way to start my time here.

I have got myself a room in a WG (Flat share) near both Neckator and Stockach U Bahn stations. Sharing with three others. I had looked at this place on Google maps but wasn't really aware of how convenient it was. Stuttgart isn't a big place and to live somewhere so central is great. I'm 15 mins walk to the Opera House, or 8 mins on the U Bahn ( 4 mins walk and 4 mins U Bahn). Yesterday I bought a month ticket for 2 zones travel which will take me everywhere I ever need to go. It cost me 70 EURO. I also went to the cinema and had popcorn and a drink, all together it came to 11 EURO. So cheap compared to London.

It's taking me time to get used to the U Bahn. I have got on trains going the wrong way a couple of times and the stations all have loads of Exits and I am not yet sure where they all lead.

I've had a false starts with the Bank and registering my address. These are now done and I have a travelcard and registered for Health Insurance. I have tried to speak German as much as I can and lots of the time people are responding in German which is a good sign.

I am able to use the Opera house to practise, which is nice, and my flat is 5 minutes from a massive park so I am looking forward to exploring some running routes. It's been a good 5 days.

Work starts in earnest on Monday morning, from which point I will be on a salary for the first time in my life, at least for one year. I'm sure there will be many trials and tribulations to come as there will also be some amazing experiences and opportunities. Not all my blogs will be this longs, but I hope to give you a flavour of life for an English singer heading abroad.

One thing I will say is that it is very easy to look at other people and be jealous or lustful of their success. I have often hoped to have opportunities that others have and complained about my poor luck. What my last 18 months show, though, is that luck can change, everyone goes through bad times but hard work and focus does pay. More on this soon.

For now, Tschuss!!