To quote Mr JS Bach, ‘Es ist vollbracht, and oh how
satisfying it is’ (I’m not sure he said the second bit….).
To what am I referring I hear you scream. Well, this
afternoon (Saturday), as my chicken nuggets started to turn black in the oven, I
had the most satisfying session making the bed I have ever had. Having gone to
boarding school at the age of 7, I have been making my own bed pretty regularly
for 21 years. In fact as choirboys in the boarding school we used to race each
other to see who could change their bed the fastest. Oh, the fun we had. Yet
not even beating my biggest bed-changing-race rival as a 9 year old was as
satisfying as making my bed just now.
Those of you who have read the previous two posts will know
that the issue of my bed has been hanging over me. My failure to realise that I
needed to order ‘Lattenrost’ , or slats, had left me with an empty frame in the
corner of my room, snarling at me each time I came home. Like an art installation
meant to ridicule me it has threatened to destabilise my settling in process. I
am delighted to announce that the slats have now arrived and as I sit here
writing the ridiculing has stopped and the soft sheets now almost flirt with
me, begging me to stop what I am doing
and make the most of our time together….. OK. Enough. I have a bed. Happy days!
Great people
Much else has happened this week both inside and outside the
opera house. I continue to meet friendly, supportive colleagues who inspire me
in both their professional and personal lives.
Sunday was a very good example of this. I had arranged to
spend some of the day with Henry Waddington, a British bass over here as a guest
artist currently rehearsing ‘Jakob Lenz’. I was in the chorus at Garsington
Opera in 2009 when Henry sang Don Magnifico in Cenerentola. He had also
arranged to meet up with another artist working here and so the three of us
ended up visiting the beautiful town of Esslingen. It really is a very
picturesque town which, Wikipedia tells me, was almost untouched in the 20th
century conflicts. Having spoken to a couple of locals in Esslingen, the three
of us headed through the old town centre and up many stairs to a little
restaurant on the hill. Here I introduced Henry to ‘maultaschen’ – which are
Schwabian ravioli, and we talked about singing, as singers do. The third member
of our party was Swedish Mezzo Katerina Karneus, who it turns out won Cardiff
Singer of the World in 1995 and has had an intriguing career path since then
including at one stage living in South Africa and at many stages having to
alter the pattern of her work due to her personal circumstances. She is in
Stuttgart to perform in Tristan und Isolde.
However informative and educational Music Colleges are, I
think everyone should have to attend a meal with two or three current working
singers. With me acting almost like a young journalist, adding the occasional question,
Henry and Katerina discussed their careers, their work/life balance, their
singing teachers, opera companies, artist managers and so on. Don’t get me
wrong, I did talk myself too, and it wasn’t exactly an ‘audience with Henry and
Katerina’ but I am very grateful for the time they did spend talking about
aspects of being an Opera singer.
As part of my contract this year I am understudying/covering
a few roles. This means that if the singer of that role is unwell then I end up
singing it instead. The first of these roles is the short unaccompanied ‘Young
Sailor’ in Tristan und Isolde. So on Monday evening I attended the run of act 1
of Tristan, listening to my role being sung by German/Argentinian Tenor Daniel
Kluge, a member of the ensemble. I also then got the chance to listen to some
wonderful singing from Katerina herself. As she had said over lunch the day
before, the routes of her technique come from the Bel Canto school, and in fact
the way she spoke about singing was very similar to Henry and my teacher, Gary
Coward. It was great to hear such a beautifully produced, unforced sound
soaring out of the thick Wagnerian texture.
English Tenor? – Tenor
who is English? – British Tenor?
Jane Thorner was not someone I knew of before the
Masterclass this week. She is based in Switzerland and teaches singing there
with her husband. I had heard from Bettina Giese, the head of the Opera Studio,
that the sessions would be energetic and wonderful and that she always does
good work. This was all good to hear of course, but following the issues I had
in 2013 (read my first blog post) and the work and time I put into getting
things on track, I am very stubborn about how I sing. I am very proud of the
work I have done with my teacher and, knowing how much of a mental challenge singing
can be, I really don’t want people to waltz in and knock me off course.
In addition to the worries I had about the teaching in the Masterclass
I was also aware that this was the first time my colleagues would hear me. So
much talking had happened before then, so many opinions expressed about other
singers… ‘have you heard them’…. ‘he is amazing’ etc. Yet now that all stopped
and this was it.
I very much doubt I am the only person in the world to have
self-doubt in such situations. As I have said to my wife in the past, the
running commentary of worries and negativity in my head is exceptionally dull
and monotonous. This is something that I have needed to sort out , and there
are people one can go and see who help performers of all sorts work through
mental challenges. One aspect of these
thoughts are the sense of being unworthy, a fraud who will one day be found out
and face an announcement in the theatre….
‘please will Herr Elwin collect his things from the dressing
room and allow real professionals to do their job.’
This fear of not
being good enough is counter balanced by a drive to succeed, achieve and, if I
am being totally honest, to impress people. To impress colleagues, and friends
and audiences. To impress everyone.
Part of the potentially fraudulent aspect of my fledgling career
is my voice. The instrument that is me, shaped by the size of my head, chest,
vocal chords, strength of my supporting muscles and so on. In my case, being
English and a Tenor has always had certain connotations. Having come from a
background as a choral singer, both as a boy soprano and as a Tenor, I am so
aware of that term – the English Tenor. The voice that can do contemporary music,
sings Bach and Handel well, performs song with intelligence and doesn’t allow
the voice to get in the way. All horrible generalisations of course. With my
background this is where I should be placed, somewhere between the Bostridges
and John Mark Ainsley’s of this world. Yet that is not my voice. Far from it.
My voice is at home in Bel Canto music, Donizetti and Bellini, young Verdi and
most of the Mozarts. Yet how do I fit in amongst the great Italian tenors of
the past or the bus load of young South American singers who dominate the young
lyric tenor scene? Where does this posh sounding east London lad fit into that?
The answer is of course that there is no reason for me not
to fit in and if anything it will be this sense of self-doubt that would prevent
it.
This is the biggest lesson that I got from the Masterclass
with Jane Thorner because, despite the self-doubt and quizzical looks from
Bettina, I chose repertoire that I know is me. I sang Edgardo’s aria from Donizetti’s
Lucia Di Lammermoor, the Italian singers aria from Rosenkavalier by Strauss, ‘Questa
O Quella’ from Rigoletto and a beautiful Bellini song called ‘La Ricordanza’,
as well as Tamino’s opening aria from Die Zauberflote. All worked on in details
over the 3 hours of sessions I was allocated. And it was a success. A real
success. The work we did was great, it opened me up a bit, gave me the
confidence to just sing and perform. In particular the Rosenkavalier aria,
which isn’t known for being easy and I have worried about for a while. The
simple work we did to help alleviate fear suddenly turned the high B into an
almost enjoyable note.
Without prompting her, Jane told me to change my attitude.
To be confident as a Tenor who is English and happens to sing the music that I
do. Also, not to feel like I should justify it because that is just the way the
cards have been dealt. Self-explanatory
stuff really but sometimes one needs reminding.
South American Tenor
Talking of the ‘bus load of South American Tenors’ brings me
back to last Sunday, and the ‘spielzeiteröffung’ or season opening. This was a 90
minute talk with musical extracts which introduces the season to the Stuttgart
public. Coming towards the end of my 2nd week in Stuttgart I thought
I would be ok with sitting through a 90 minute talk in German. Apparently,
though, one can only concentrate for so long and this particular 90 minute German
listening exam was a step too far.
Brain frazzled, I was delighted for each musical interlude.
These included a section from Mussorgsky’s Khovanschina, which I am in later in
the season, a long section from ‘Jakob Lenz’ which did nothing to ease my brain,
an aria from Cosi performed by Ronan Collett and finally ‘La Donna E Mobile’
performed by Stuttgart’s own resident South American tenor, Atalla Ayan.
I had heard a lot about Atalla Ayan, the Brazilian Tenor,
not yet into his 30’s and already having debuted at Covent Garden, with the MET
and at numerous houses in Germany singing all the repertoire that I hope to
make my own. Sure enough his Duke aria was great, a few things I might have
done differently if I am honest, but the thing that really stood out was that
he just performed it, with confidence and flair. Like a songbird wishing to be
heard by everyone around, the resulting audience reaction was no surprise.
His career is one to be inspired but not intimidated by.
Maybe someone will talk about me in the same way one day….. maybe.
Curry time
At the end of the week I decided to bring a little of my own
family tradition to Stuttgart and cooked curry for my Opera studio colleagues.
Having been born in India whilst his father was a Doctor out
there, my own father has always felt a strong affinity with India and ever
since I was very young we have had home cooked curries. In recent years, as my
two sisters and I have spread ourselves far and wide across the globe, the
family curry has marked special occasions. We had a family curry the weekend
before my little sister left for Japan (she blogs too at
paperplane89.wordpress.com ), one the night before I got married and one before
I came out here. I often cook curry for
my wife at home and it is a family tradition that will no doubt continue.
Therefore, as a way for us to wind down at the end of the
intense week, I invited the rest of the Opera studio as well as Ashley Prewett
who was on the studio last year and Bettina, the head of the studio, to mine
for a Friday night curry.
The process of cooking the curry wasn’t as easy as it would
be in London of course. High street north, near to where my parents live, is a
little India in east London. If you can’t find the right ingredients for your
curry down high street north then you aren’t cooking Indian food. Stuttgart has
no high street north. There are many Turkish people in the area, more kebap
shops than anywhere else I have been to, and the accompanying Turkish supermarkets.
In terms of Indian cuisine though, Stuttgart is lacking.
I did manage to stumble upon some mango chutney, mint sauce
and sharwoods curry powder in one of the more expensive supermarkets here. I
also substituted home made naan bread for very similar Turkish bread from a
local backerei, a steal at 35 cents a pop. My colleagues brought with them
bier, wine, cake and ice cream and we had a lovely evening.
I was delighted that one of my flat mates, Rui from China,
joined us too and he was extremely grateful to have met my friends. He
mentioned to me that he felt very lucky to know me as I was so good at making
friends. Whether this is true or not, I did sit back and appreciate how lucky I
am to be part of such a friendly Opera house. Three weeks in and I continue to
make new friendships and build on the ones I have already made. From dinner
with Henry and Katerina, to the curry, to this evenings drinks I will be having
with two other colleagues (more about that next week). Its all good.
Missing home
Having said all of that, I still miss home, despite having
been at boarding school for so long and being so used to being away from home.
My wife is not here with me, I cannot sleep in my own bed, I can’t drive my car
or buy all the Indian food I could ever want, or marmite.
In a couple of weeks I will be missing my nieces 2nd
birthday party, probably a family curry, and will no doubt miss many more
events. All in the name of being an almost fully fledged opera singer. Madness
really.
One event I am sad to be missing is the memorial service for
my former Headmaster, Chris Tongue, who sadly passed away this week. Mr Tongue
was an extremely supportive Headmaster during my time at St. John’s School,
Leatherhead, where I took my GCSE’s and A Levels. He would attend every match,
be it 1st XV or Under 14 C team, every play, concert, debate etc.
with the same enthusiasm and charm. He emailed me recently to congratulate me
on my career developments and I am only too sad to not have been able to see
him before he passed away.
Mr Tongue was one of those people that we musicians need in
life. An encouraging, supportive force who helps enable us to make the decision
to continue in this mad career. I have so many memories of him taking time to
talk to me and encourage me, making me feel recognised and appreciated. A
wonderfully human skill to have. He will be sorely missed. Rest In Peace Mr
Tongue!
My first show
Next Sunday, the 5th of October, I have my first
performance here. So far I have only had one rehearsal for it as it is a
revival. This involved sitting and watching the DVD of the 1980 production and
trying the copy it, a difficult skill to master. I will tell you more about the
rehearsals and build up to my debut in the next blog, including a possible
sighting of me in Lederhosen.
Before then, I hope you have a lovely week,
Tom
